There’s more to planning your own funeral service than deciding on flowers and song selections.
In addition to designing the celebration you want, you’re also making things so much easier for those who are left behind. Financially and emotionally.
Planning Your Own Funeral
First things first, what happens with the body? Do you want to donate your organs? Do you want to donate your body for research?
Organ and Tissue Donation
Organ donation is the process of donating all or part of an organ or biological tissue from one person (living or dead) for transplantation into a living person.
The easiest way to become an organ donor is to sign up with the local Department of Motor Vehicles. In addition, each state operates a donor registry.
Whole Body Donation
Please note that in many cases, whole body donation is not possible if you opt for organ donation.
By donating your body, you are making a contribution to medical research. The remains are used to conduct training for future medical professionals and research towards illnesses and diseases of the body and medical advances in terminal illnesses.
Research and training times vary and could last between one month and a two year period of time. But once the institution is done using the remains, they will cremate them at no cost and make the ashes available for pick up.
In the case of whole body donation, a public viewing is not an option. Click here to learn more about whole body donation.
Choosing a Funeral Home
As morbid as it might sound, start paying attention when you attend funerals. Notice how the body is prepared and how it looks. Take note of the facilities. What about the staff?
You can also ask friends, relatives, neighbors and co-workers for recommendations. They can tell you the good and the bad.
Most funeral parlors are full service establishments, which means they will pick-up and prepare the body for burial or cremation, offer caskets or urns, cremation services, visitation and/or viewing services and everything in between.
Call or visit for pricing. Contact more than one funeral parlor to compare prices. By law funeral parlors must give you a general price list when requested. It should cover such items as facility use, administrative costs and body preparation.
Find out if they charge more if you decide to have the actual services elsewhere. Will they coordinate with the other location?
The Funeral Rule outlines what funeral providers can and cannot do. For example, they can’t force you to buy their caskets and urns. You can purchase them online for a lot less money. (Yep, even at Amazon, Costco and other retailers.)
Check out the funeral homes you are considering with the licensing bodies in the city, county and state and with the Better Business Bureau (BBB).
Hopefully, you will live for many more years, so assume that prices will increase over time. But you will have a pretty good starting point for budgeting purposes.
Cemetery Plots and Services
When purchasing a cemetery plot, consider the location, the kind of cemetery, cemetery rules, the kind of plot you want, and price.
Think about the family members who may visit your grave. Is the location convenient for them?
Cemeteries can be public (for profit), private (family burial grounds), religious (not-for-profit), municipal, or for veterans. Municipal cemeteries are designed for people who can’t afford public or private cemeteries.
Cemeteries will generally have rules, including the size, type and orientation of headstones. They may also set limitation on decorations or other memorials.
There are four basic types of cemetery plots:
- Single cemetery plots for one deceased person.
- Companion plots for married couples or life partners.
- Family plots are dedicated to the exclusive use of decedents within their family or you can purchase multiple single plots.
- Cremation plots are for cremated remains and can cost much less.
Determine if the cemetery you choose charges maintenance or other ongoing fees.
Check out this post for more detailed information about choosing a cemetery.
Affordable Cremation
As we’ve seen, funerals can be very expensive. A cremation service can offer a beautiful and meaningful send off without breaking the bank.
With direct cremation (no service), you may not even need a casket or container, depending on your state’s laws.
If a viewing is held within 24 hours of cremation, you can usually rent a casket from the funeral home or crematorium.
Guess what? There are no laws or requirements that say you have to buy an urn to store ashes. After the cremation, the funeral home transfers the remains to a plastic bag and places it inside of a plain black box.
If your plans are to have your ashes scattered in a special location, it makes perfect sense for loved ones to take the ashes as they are.
For long term storage, you can save money by buying your own vase or urn rather than paying the funeral home or crematorium prices.
Funeral or Memorial Service
Your plan can be a combination of any elements you’d like.
For example, you can have a viewing, followed by a memorial service.
Or maybe a viewing, then private cremation, with a ceremonial scattering of ashes in the spring.
You might prefer a full blown funeral and burial service, followed by a repass at your favorite restaurant. Again, any combination that suits your fancy.
You can write you own obituary and decide on the officiant, eulogy, songs, pallbearers, flowers and colors.
Now, hopefully you have many, many more years of life ahead of you. And, in that vein, consider that some of your designees will pass before you. It’s best to name alternates.
People choose memorial services in lieu of funeral services for a number of reasons. It may be helpful to accommodate an anticipated large number of out-of-town guests.
A service may be not be possible due to weather, natural disasters (including pandemics), if body is not available for viewing.
Also, if the body is cremated, there is no rush to pay respects and a memorial service planned for a later date can be more convenient for everyone involved.
How to Pay for Your Funeral or Cremation
Money Set Aside For Your Funeral
- Life Insurance – The first choice for most. Check your policy and make sure that the coverage is enough for your desired funeral expenses.
- Final Expense Insurance – As the name implies, specifically for final expenses. The rates are lower, so the payout if smaller and usually no medical exam is required.
- POD (paid on death) accounts – Make sure to designate someone as your POD for money market, checking and savings accounts so that they can access the funds immediately.
- 401(k) – There may be a delay before funds are distributed to your beneficiary(ies), so this option may make more sense for a memorial service planned weeks or months down the road.
- Pre-Paid Funerals – You can also pre-pay when planning your own funeral, but there is some risk involved. The funeral home may go out of business, or their services may go downhill. Or YOU may move. Make sure you understand their refund policies. On the other hand, pre-paying should lock in today’s prices.
When You Need Financial Assistance to Pay for Your Funeral
- Social Security Administration (SSA) – A survivors’ benefit of around $255 may be available, but they can’t get their hands on it immediately.
- Church – Your own church or other religious organization may be willing to help with costs.
- Military – If you are a veteran, make sure to check for eligibility of burial benefits.
- Go Fund Me – I’m not sure how they became the go-to for burial expenses, but if don’t have insurance or savings, let your people know NOW so that they can start either saving or be prepared to petition when the time comes.
Make sure that your loved ones know in advance what funds should be used for what purposes.
Planning your own funeral can actually be a mind-opening exercise that can bring you peace of mind in the now.
Action Plan: Start visiting funeral homes, monument stores and cemeteries. Decide if you want to be an organ donor. Talk with your loved ones about your wishes.
Is planning your own funeral something you want to try? Why or why not? Leave your comments below.