The search wasn’t limited to assisted living facilities. We just knew that my father had to get out of that house.
He’d been there for over 40 years and the house was falling apart. Plus he was a hoarder with some other bad and potentially dangerous habits.
Even though he was into his mid-80’s, my father was mobile. He was still driving. But he had some issues that made living alone a really bad idea.
So I set out on a tour to find the right housing for him. The search took a few weeks and eventually morphed into a detailed assisted living spreadsheet.
I started started looking at apartment buildings first, because I knew it would be much cheaper than assisted living.
Maybe we could hire a maid, take turns bringing him meals, and accompanying him to doctor’s appointments.
We soon realized that independent living wasn’t going to work. And he definitely did not need a skilled nursing facility.
That left assisted living facilities.
Assisted Living Facilities – The Basics
For seniors – and sometimes younger disabled people – assisted living bridges the gap between independent living spaces and skilled nursing facilities.
For example, some residents are able to live in their own apartments. But they may need help with bathing, dressing, toileting or taking medications.
Assisted living accommodations can range from single or double rooms to full apartments or houses.
Almost all facilities offer three daily meals, housekeeping and laundry services, and a nursing staff in always available.
From there, the offerings vary quite a bit.
How to Find the Right Assisted Living Facility
Call to arrange a tour and make sure you visit in person. You can say you are looking for a place for your mom, dad, or uncle.
If you can, take a friend with you. Salespeople can be very chatty and their constant commentary can be distracting as you try to take things in.
Referral websites are useful to find out the names and locations of facilities and to read consumer reviews, but pay no attention to the website ratings. Rarely will you find pricing information anywhere online.
Facilities can be as different as night and day, When you visit, take plenty of notes. Let them know that you are visiting other places (you don’t have to name them).
Ask for a copy of the lease agreement. In fact, insist on a boilerplate copy. The facilities may have restrictions that they don’t mention during the tour.
For example, heat and air conditioning may be included but, due to safety concerns, they may not allow electric blankets or space heaters. Or no overnight visitors. What about pets?
Notice the smells. Unfortunately, I visited one building that smelled like urine. I immediately turned around and left.
Do the residents look happy or engaged? If your visit is during mealtime, are they interacting with one another? Do they seem to enjoy the food?
What about the staff? Do they seem friendly and professional? Are they helpful and accommodating to residents?
Some facilities also have Alzheimer’s and dementia care units that you may not be allowed to tour.
After the tour, when you are back in the office (and you WILL be back in the office), notice if you are getting a pressure sales pitch.
Don’t be swayed by fancy brochures. Trust me, I’ve collected some award winning level pieces of creative writing.
Write down all of the verbal promises, but take them with a grain of salt.
Example: my father was assigned a “buddy”. He is an actual resident who came by to see my father exactly twice after move-in.
My guess is that he’s probably a professional buddy, who gets a discount on his rent and is assigned to everybody.
Touring an Assisted Living Facility
Below are some of the features to check out. You can print this fillable Assisted Living Facilities Checklist to take along on your visit. Then keep track of the various facilities with this spreadsheet.
Meals
Meals in assisted living can be hit or miss. If you are on a specific diet or meal plan, they may not offer the foods you want. The food may not be as flavorful – or as hot – as you’d like.
Some may offer apartments with full kitchens; others may not allow food in your living area at all.
Make sure that you have some meal options in case you don’t like the day’s menu, or for when you don’t feel like going to the dining room.
Try to get a look at the menus to get an idea as to how varied the meals are. Some facilities allow guests to dine with the residents on occasion, for a fee.
Staff
Staff members, particularly nurses and maintenance, usually have keys to all units. This is convenient for delivering medications or if there is an emergency, but they should knock first.
Housekeeping will have keys as well. Find out the policies for staff entering your room or apartment.
Transportation
Most assisted living building have shuttles or vans to grocery stores and banks on a regular schedule. Ask to see the transportation schedule.
Also, nearby community senior centers may have a reciprocal arrangement with the facility. They will pick up and drop seniors off for events.
They may offer transportation to medical appointments; you can usually also arrange rides within the municipality.
Housekeeping
The good part. Your space will be clean and your laundry will be done. Typically, you will be assigned dates for cleaning and laundry. Have your dirty clothes ready and housekeeping will pick up and deliver.
Assisted Living Activities
Well, there’s probably gonna be B-I-N-G-O. In addition, there may be exercise classes, lectures, concerts and even happy hour!
If there are any activities going on during your visit, ask if you can peek in. See if the sessions are full, or if no one shows.
If the facility offers entertainment, see if you can attend an event. Again, notice whether the event is poorly attended.
Additionally, inquire about libraries on the premises, book clubs, movie nights, gardens or even outings to casinos or museums.
Health Maintenance
Some facilities schedule periodic health fairs screenings, usually to monitor for conditions like high blood pressure or high blood glucose levels.
Sometimes the facility will sponsor these events for free, others will be at a nominal cost.
Or they may bring in specialists, like podiatrists, or schedule flu shots. These services may be covered by your insurance.
Assisted Living Guest Policies
I learned during the worst of COVID that facilities practiced varying visitation policies.
My father’s comings and goings, for example were never restricted. He could not have visitors, but he was free to go out whenever he wanted. All but one entrance was blocked, they took temperatures upon return, they supplied masks. They also closed the dining rooms (they delivered all meals) and cancelled activities.
Whereas my friend’s mother-in-law was in a gated facility and no one was allowed in or out for months, even though this was in the same state and the same county as my father’s building.
Even though those policies were specific to COVID, you still want to to inquire about the regular visitation policies for when things are back to normal. Can an out-of-town guest stay in your unit overnight? How many nights maximum?
After the Tour
On your way out – or during another unscheduled visit – ask any residents you see outside how they feel about the facility. You may be able to catch a resident’s family members and you can ask them.
Take an unflinching look at the general area, walking or driving around the premises. Are the grounds well-lit? Does the area appear safe?
Assisted living ownership can change frequently and, because they are not always paid well, staff turnover can be high.
Do your research and make the best decision you can with the information you have.
Paying for Assisted Living
If you opt for assisted living, you will likely be there for the rest of your life. You can move. But with each passing year. moving can become more of a challenge.
To be blunt, assisted living facility is expensive. And the cost of quality assisted living is through the roof. Gourmet meals and piano concertos come at a price.
Lower cost facilities will typically be fraught with problems: the shuttle breaks down frequently, high staff turnover, substandard maintenance and response.
Unfortunately, the nicer homes are not affordable for a lot of people without assistance.
Besides pensions, social security and retirement savings, consider long term care insurance, Veterans Aid and Attendance, Medicaid (only in certain states and facilities), or having your kids chip in.
Assisted Living Checklists
The best way to find out what is available is to start visiting.
Use these forms when doing your research. Don’t forget to save them to your system.
- Assisted Living Facilities Checklist
- Assisted Living Facilities Spreadsheet – This is the real spreadsheet I used after visiting several facilities. The names and contact information have been removed. The other information serves to give an idea of the types of information I collected. You can just type over it. Alt+Enter to creates a new line in a cell.
If you need motivation to start Old Age prep, check out this scary and eye-opening piece on long-term care (nursing homes and assisted living facilities) from John Oliver.
Do you know someone in assisted living? Is the facility nice? Are you planning to move into a facility? Comment below!